I have changed my narrative essay by making it less of a descriptive essay, and more personal. I removed some of the hard facts and replaced them with some of my own feelings at the time of the event.
I have decided to make many changes to my narrative after our writing workshop. First, I discovered that I needed to add more detail, specifically in describing the location of my story. I also realized that there isn't enough dialog in the story so that it actually flows. I look forward to these changes and our upcoming workshops. I think they really help to better my narrative!
After our first workshop, I have found alot of things about my paper should be changed, and that things could be added to it in order to enhance the paper. I need to put in more details in order to better create a setting, and that the ending could use more elaboration.
Although I actually havent began making actual changes yet, what im about to do is improve my description of setting, character moods and feelings, and lastly competely remake my ending beause i never really concluded it, I made up a lazy 2 sentences.
My draft is far from perfect, but I added a couple of paragraphs that further described my overall anger for the event my essay focuses on. I think it did me some good, because at the same time my essay gained another focuspoint, if that makes sense. I'm still looking to lengthen the essay, though; it's still not quite 3 pages, but it's much closer than it was before.
I looked through the comments I had recieved and decided that my topic can be tweeked slightly to make my paper more meaningful. So I am going to re-write the paper with more emphasis on the events significance to me as well as the readers. I also have decided to take out most of the beginning so that I start off right in the even rather than slowly leading into it.
I really enjoyed the workshop. I got a lot of good feedback and it will definitely help me as I'm writing my 2nd draft. I've changed my beginning because of the lack of action . It needs more of a kick. I'm still trying to get across my feelings of the event. It's definitely going to be a long process.
Since i first wrote my draft i have changed a few things. First of all i added punctuation and gramatical things to improve that area of the paper. And second i added more detail to the areas that my peers recomended. I am hoping that this detail creates more emotion.
The workshop helped me realized what parts of the paper I needed to focus on more. Since the first draft I have tried to make the climax more noticeable and I have added more of my feelings to it. I am also adding more details about a certain part of the story.
The workshop helped me realize a few things I need to change in my essay. I realized that I need to make my climax clearer so I added more of a build up to it. I also made my essay less repetitive and went into greater detail.
After the workshop, I realized that I needed more description when identifying certain characters. I also realized that my conclusion needed some more detail. By adding this, I hope to add more emotion, and to let my thoughts expand on the subject.
Some thing that I realized needed work in my paper was to add more description. I also have been taking the advise from the workshop and changing some of the things that my peers said would help make my paper better.
This workshop made me realize that i needed a lot of changes to my paper. I need to add more detail to it. My paper is too boring and slow. I'm hoping to make my reader actually want to read my paper. Not have to read it.
I had included some things in my rough draft that portrayed something that wasn't true. I thought I would just be cool and use different wording to make me sound smart, but it backfired and made the story take a whole other turn. So, in response to that, I entirely edited my whole closing paragraph. Now the story ends how I want it to.
Well I had to completely change my essay. I didn't realize that it had to be a story. I completely wrote the whole thing in essay form. So basically the thing I changed was the whole essay itself. I rewrote it.
i have completely re edited my essay with a new topic but still keeping the general broad theme. i have some of the same information but it is just added at different times and allows me to focus on a particular event rather than a section of a period of time
My first draft was pretty terrible, but I was just trying write about something and get it on the paper. Now that I have this first draft, I have made tons of changes to it. I am fixing typos, deleting useless sentences, and trying to add more complex sentence structure to my paper.
I think that this class should be a good way to better us all in writing for the future. At the same time it is going to be hard to know how our papers are going to be graded until we get a sample of how they are graded. I think that we should had in a sample of the papers that we will be handing in so we know before we hand the finals in.
I have changed my narrative essay by making it less of a descriptive essay, and more personal. I removed some of the hard facts and replaced them with some of my own feelings at the time of the event.
ReplyDeleteI have decided to make many changes to my narrative after our writing workshop. First, I discovered that I needed to add more detail, specifically in describing the location of my story. I also realized that there isn't enough dialog in the story so that it actually flows. I look forward to these changes and our upcoming workshops. I think they really help to better my narrative!
ReplyDeleteAfter our first workshop, I have found alot of things about my paper should be changed, and that things could be added to it in order to enhance the paper. I need to put in more details in order to better create a setting, and that the ending could use more elaboration.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I actually havent began making actual changes yet, what im about to do is improve my description of setting, character moods and feelings, and lastly competely remake my ending beause i never really concluded it, I made up a lazy 2 sentences.
ReplyDeleteMy draft is far from perfect, but I added a couple of paragraphs that further described my overall anger for the event my essay focuses on. I think it did me some good, because at the same time my essay gained another focuspoint, if that makes sense. I'm still looking to lengthen the essay, though; it's still not quite 3 pages, but it's much closer than it was before.
ReplyDeleteI looked through the comments I had recieved and decided that my topic can be tweeked slightly to make my paper more meaningful. So I am going to re-write the paper with more emphasis on the events significance to me as well as the readers. I also have decided to take out most of the beginning so that I start off right in the even rather than slowly leading into it.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the workshop. I got a lot of good feedback and it will definitely help me as I'm writing my 2nd draft. I've changed my beginning because of the lack of action . It needs more of a kick. I'm still trying to get across my feelings of the event. It's definitely going to be a long process.
ReplyDeleteSince i first wrote my draft i have changed a few things. First of all i added punctuation and gramatical things to improve that area of the paper. And second i added more detail to the areas that my peers recomended. I am hoping that this detail creates more emotion.
ReplyDeleteThe workshop helped me realized what parts of the paper I needed to focus on more. Since the first draft I have tried to make the climax more noticeable and I have added more of my feelings to it. I am also adding more details about a certain part of the story.
ReplyDeleteThe workshop helped me realize a few things I need to change in my essay. I realized that I need to make my climax clearer so I added more of a build up to it. I also made my essay less repetitive and went into greater detail.
ReplyDeleteAfter the workshop, I realized that I needed more description when identifying certain characters. I also realized that my conclusion needed some more detail. By adding this, I hope to add more emotion, and to let my thoughts expand on the subject.
ReplyDeleteSome thing that I realized needed work in my paper was to add more description. I also have been taking the advise from the workshop and changing some of the things that my peers said would help make my paper better.
ReplyDeleteThis workshop made me realize that i needed a lot of changes to my paper. I need to add more detail to it. My paper is too boring and slow. I'm hoping to make my reader actually want to read my paper. Not have to read it.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a new essay
ReplyDeleteI had included some things in my rough draft that portrayed something that wasn't true. I thought I would just be cool and use different wording to make me sound smart, but it backfired and made the story take a whole other turn. So, in response to that, I entirely edited my whole closing paragraph. Now the story ends how I want it to.
ReplyDeleteI kept the beginning and now I am going to add more detail to surround the climatic even in my narrative
ReplyDeleteWell I had to completely change my essay. I didn't realize that it had to be a story. I completely wrote the whole thing in essay form. So basically the thing I changed was the whole essay itself. I rewrote it.
ReplyDeletei have completely re edited my essay with a new topic but still keeping the general broad theme. i have some of the same information but it is just added at different times and allows me to focus on a particular event rather than a section of a period of time
ReplyDeleteMy first draft was pretty terrible, but I was just trying write about something and get it on the paper. Now that I have this first draft, I have made tons of changes to it. I am fixing typos, deleting useless sentences, and trying to add more complex sentence structure to my paper.
ReplyDeleteI think that this class should be a good way to better us all in writing for the future. At the same time it is going to be hard to know how our papers are going to be graded until we get a sample of how they are graded. I think that we should had in a sample of the papers that we will be handing in so we know before we hand the finals in.
ReplyDeletei expanded on ideas i merely touched on beforehand. i also made more of a setting, forming a story rather than a chain of events.
ReplyDelete